Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I deserve to be covered in dicks
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
