I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
