Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
