I hate all girls vehemently.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
