My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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