Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
