YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Randomize
