He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
