Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
