peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize