i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
