shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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