Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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