I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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