We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
