shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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