forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
