mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
