she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
