You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
