she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you traded sex for a burrito?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
