don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
i am craving dick and cupcakes
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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