tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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