I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
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I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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