Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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