Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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