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TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
