I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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