Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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