i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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