Define "chronic" masturbator.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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