in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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