omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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