She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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