I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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