there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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