Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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