So drunk, too bad you don't want this
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
