I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
