she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
