what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
