Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
