Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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