Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
