i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
