Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Randomize
