how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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