I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You smell like stripper and shame
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize