I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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