i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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