We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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