He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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