i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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