...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
