over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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