wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
