Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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