When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize