Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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