ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
