worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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