Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
