Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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