I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can tuck mytits in my pants
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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