What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Randomize
